These are the in-between moments. They make up the story of us. They are mostly shot at home, in the early morning light. Each day, only one photo can stay on the memory card to remember the day by. Every month or so they get uploaded and edited and filed away. Only keeping one photo a day on that card really forces me to find the best light, the best angle, and the best emotion. It is the only daily project my scattered brain has been able to continue and I plan to continue it until the day I die.
We actually lead a pretty adventurous and busy life. We are outdoors most days, walking, hiking, camping, or playing with friends. We love traveling and exploring new places. We’re obsessed with the beach and sandy toes at sunset. We could tell you all of the family-friendly breweries in San Diego and which ones have root beer on tap. Our life outside these in-between moments looks nothing like this.
But these moments are the ones I want my children to remember. It is where the love exists in the story of us. To be fair, it is also where we do most of our yelling. Learning to live and love together despite our very different personalities.
These moments make us real. They are true and authentic.
They are us.
I started this project on May 23rd, 2017 after Michelle Gardella's retreat in Austin where she prompted me to write this artist statement:
My children are my heart but that heart has been broken. There is beauty there, in those quiet, dark, breaking moments. Happiness in the heartache. I am desperate to find the broken pieces and put them back together. But as with all things shattered, they will never fit just right.
I feel a piece of my heart find its way home when I photograph my children. Just as they are, without fuss or fancy. The love they share slowly replacing the love I lost. My love for them quietly filling the hole in my heart from my unmothered childhood. The cycle stopping with this generation. With my beautiful children.
I need to document their life. The chaos. The quiet. The love. I need them to know that I see them and they are beautiful. They are important. Most of all, that they are protected.
They exist in these in-between moments as proof that someday my heart will be whole and that they are the ones who hold all the pieces.
When they are grown, I want them to look at these photographs and feel my love. I want them to see their beauty. Their worth. Their whole and complete hearts.
Their shining light in all the darkness is all I’ve ever needed to heal my heart.